The Heart of the Haunted Woods

Special Issue: Halloween

A shadowy figure in the woods emerged from a treehouse carrying a pail of a mysterious substance mixed with ectoplasm. It was autumn alright, and almost Halloween, which meant the caretaker of the Haunted Woods needed to make her rounds to check on the health of the forest.

"Only 20 more trees to check," Ilere muttered to herself. She carried her pail up to one of the trees. Leaning towards it, she began to whisper.

The tree began to move slight and then two glowing eyes opened, staring at Ilere.

"Oh, it's you, I thought it was another pesky visitor intending to disrupt the peace in the forest," it grunted.

"That's an interesting way to greet someone who is about to winterize you."

"Eh, whatever, just get it over with," the tree grunted.

Ilere scooped some of the substance out of her pail and spread it at the foot of the tree, near where the roots went into the ground.

"More ectoplasm?"

"An odd way to express gratitude," Ilere scowled.

"I'll thank you when you're done."

"Stubborn old oak, fine, have it your way."

She finished up and the tree grunted again.

"This is when I say, 'thank you'."

"Whatever," Ilere replied, rolling her eyes.

The truth was that she enjoyed her time checking up on the forest. It was a great way for her to pass time. After all, the trees occasionally had stories to tell. Some of them existed to give her a hard time, but she was fine with that. The Haunted Woods became more crowded these days, with pesky visitors on their way to Neovia, folks who sought out the Brain Tree, and then most annoying of all, tourists who wanted to visit a haunted fairground every Halloween. Oftentimes, the visitors left trash behind. That was the most angering part. Neopians seemingly felt that the woods were now their own personal playground during Halloween. Still, preventing visitors was out of question. Livelihoods depended on it, and perhaps some Neopians would eventually find the woods important to them to protect as well.

Ilere moved on from tree to tree until she arrived at the final tree. She ran her fingers down the front of it.

"Why are you here? What's the point?" said a wailing voice from the tree.

Ilere stared at the tree. "I'm here to prepare you for winter."

"I don't need it."

"Ok, something's wrong. What happened?"

The tree lowered one of its branches.

"Oh… who put those there?"

"Kids and their Halloween ornaments…."

The branch had strips of paper hanging from it along with spooky garlands.

"Am I not scary enough anymore? I tried to spook them, and they kept laughing at me."

"You still look pretty haunted to me."

"Oh, you're just saying that now."

Ilere sighed and carefully removed the decorations on the tree. She never understood why folks felt the need to add anything else to the Haunted Woods during Halloween. The woods should be haunted enough without tacky decorations. Still, seeing the tree in distress made her sympathetic.

"I've never had them laugh at me like that before. Hey, Ilere, you're plenty scary right? Could you help me look scary again?"

At this, she unloaded all the remaining ectoplasm fertilizer at the foot of the tree and began spreading, ignoring the tree's comment.

"Can you please help?" the tree begged.

"First of all, I'm not scary. I am simply intimidating when I need to be. Second, I'm an earth faerie. I deal with plant health; not how scary a plant is. I'm sorry about your plight, but I don't know what I can do. Maybe you're still scary and those kids are just nuts? What did they look like?"

"I'm a tree, I can't actually see well, I could only hear them."

The earth faerie sighed. Of course, the eyes were just to be spooky. Trees couldn't see well at all. That would be silly.

"Well, I guess try to be scary. I'll be the judge."

The tree opened its mouth wide, leaned over Ilere, and lowered its branches. It jabbed its roots out of the ground and poked Ilere in the back with its branches. It then made a scary "whoooooooo" sound. Then the roots started wrapping around Ilere's feet, prompting the Earth Faerie to stomp in order to free herself.

"Without touching me, ash tree!"

"Ooof, I'm sorry!"

"Look, that was pretty scary. So, my job is done here, hope you have a nice winter."

"Wait! No, I tried it with those kids, and they didn't budge!"

The tree once again grabbed onto Ilere, hoping she'd change her mind.

"Let me go!"

"I'm sorry, I just…"

"I'll help. I'll figure something out," Ilere replied. She had no idea what she would do, but fearing that the tree would wither away, she did not see any choice.

This seemed to calm the tree down.

"Thank you, Ilere."

Ilere took her empty pail and headed back to her home. Along the way, she would stop by the Brain Tree. Perhaps he had answers. She kept walking until she emerged at the overgrown tree with its long branches and enormous orange brain. A that moment, the tree appeared to be asleep. Ilere strode up to it and knocked on the bark.

"Who goes th- wait Ilere? It's you. You never visit me anymore."

"I'm visiting you now. Anyways, I'll cut to the chase. There's a wailing ash tree who thinks it's not scary anymore. Do you know how to make a tree scarier?"

The Brain Tree scratched his own brain with one of his branches. Eventually, the silence was deafening so Ilere finally interrupted it, impatiently tapping her feed.

"Well?"

"Vincent Mynci died some time ago. I need to know when and where. Then I can answer your question."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"I do not care who you are, everyone must answer a question. If Queen Fyora decided to search for answers, I will also make it imperative for her to provide an answer to my question."

"How do I know if you even have a working solution?"

"You do not! That's part of the game! Tourists enjoy that part too. Hahaha. Now I shall return to my slumber."

The tree fell back asleep, paying no further attention to Ilere's angry expression. Ilere stomped her way towards the Esophagor, muttering about how she wanted to prune the Brain Tree in the winter.

"Feeeeed meeeee!" said a loud voice. Ilere looked down the wrinkled lump on the ground as it opened its mouth wide.

"Fine what do you want?"

"Caaandy Coooorn Classsic! Caaaandy Corn Fizzzy Driiiink!"

"Really? Two candy corn items? You know I hate that stuff; it doesn't even count as spooky."

"Foooood. Noooo comments. Just foood!"

"What a pain… how do people ever put up with the creatures of these woods?" Ilere muttered as she doubled back towards the Deserted Fairground. Unfortunately, for Ilere, the Fairground was hardly deserted these days. Instead, it was packed with tourists dressed in costumes. In fact, she noticed several Neopians dressed in her likeness.

"Alright, out of my way! I need to get to the food shop," Ilere snapped.

"Oooo, nice Ilere costume. You look just like her!" a Darigan Kacheek commented.

Fed up with being misidentified as some pretend version of her, she raised her hands and made vines appear out of the ground, tossing tourists aside with them. Little did she know, this made the crowd even more raucous.

"Wow! The real Ilere is here! Let's ask her for an autograph!" said a Pirate Usul.

"No, no autographs! Out of my way!" But the crowd ignored her.

Having enough of the situation, she raised her arms once again. Suddenly, Luperus appeared at the fairground and growled loudly at the crowd. This time, the crowd scattered at the sight of the three-headed Lupe's extremely sharp teeth. Once everyone had scattered, Ilere quietly reached into her pocket and pulled out some Bat Cookies to feed Luperus. The three-headed Lupe licked Ilere's hand in gratitude before wandering off back to its cave. With everyone out of the way, Ilere ventured into the Spooky Foods shop.

"I want some of your Candy Corn Classic and the Candy Corn Fizzy Drink."

"Ilere on an Esophagor quest? Now that's a sight to behold. I suppose the Brain Tree must be giving you a hard time," the Bruce running the shop said, grinning as he handed Ilere the food.

"Don't assume this will be a regular occurrence!" Ilere spat.

"Whatever, I hope you find your answers. Just note, the Brain Tree is often useless."

"Well, he better be useful, or I'll turn him into firewood."

"Harsh as ever! I like it. Good day to you."

Ilere rushed back into the woods and tossed the food directly at Esophagor. The beast arose from his position and swallowed both things whole. "Haaaaunted Graaaaaveyard, 45 BN", it replied.

"You better be right."

"I aaaam neeeever wrooong oooon Braaaain Treeeee quests…"

Ilere then went to the Brain Tree. She knocked on the bark after finding him asleep again, jolting the tree awake.

"You have returned. Do you have answers for me?"

"Vincent Mynci died in 45 BN in the Haunted Graveyard."

"That is correct."

"Well, how do I make a tree scarier? I'm waiting!"

"There is nothing you can do other than to convince the tree it's scary again."

Ilere flared her nostrils and folded her arms, glaring at the Brain Tree.

"You have got to be kidding me. That's your answer?!"

"That is my final answer to your inquiry. Now do with it what you will." The Brain Tree then closed his eyes again.

As angry as Ilere was, destroying the Brain Tree would potentially cause damage to the Haunted Woods ecosystem so she collected herself and returned to the ash tree. As Ilere approached the tree, the ash tree seemed to perk up, relieved to see Ilere.

"Miss Ilere, did you find an answer for me?"

Ilere stared at the tree before shaking her head. "The Brain Tree said I have to convince you that you are scary. So, from what you did last time, I think you're plenty scary."

The tree seemed to wither upon hearing this.

"I already told you; the kids don't think I'm scary anymore."

"Well, I'm not sure what else to tell you. I guess I'll offer some more ectoplasm for my lack of ideas."

Leaving the tree to his own devices, the earth faerie picked her pail and headed back to her treehouse. Upon entering her treehouse, she noticed that ghostly figure was floating around it. It appeared to be a Ghost Mynci. Ghost pets often found the woods a calming place to float around, but few actually paid Ilere any visits. As she approached, the Ghost pet turned to recognize her.

"Who are you?" Ilere asked.

"I am Vincent Mynci. I had heard that you were searching for information about my demise."

"Well, certainly, but I just wanted some answer I never got from the Brain Tree."

"Oooooo… what was this question?"

"Well, some tree thinks it's no longer scary. Wait? Why are you asking?"

"An unscary tree huh? May I visit this tree?"

Ilere shot the Ghost Mynci a confused look.

"Okay, but I feel like you'd be wasting your time. It has to convince itself that it's scary again."

"Just take me to the tree, I have an idea."

The Earth Faerie sighed and agreed to take the Ghost Mynci to the tree. When the two of them arrived, they noticed at the tree had withered completely in despair and was nearly turning grey.

"Alright, I brought a visitor. Some Ghost Mynci named Vincent. Apparently, he has an idea."

The Mynci floated over to the tree.

"You know, there was a time when my job in the Haunted Woods was to scare others," the Mynci began.

The tree looked intrigued.

"There was a night where a few kids visited the Haunted Graveyard. They seemed to be sneaking around, disrespecting those who had passed. You know, tossing rocks at the tombstones. So, I appeared, attempting to scare them. Instead, though, they seemed to think I was part of some game and tried to bop me with tombstones. At some point, I was fed up that they felt I wasn't scary, so I turned the tables and disappeared. Thinking they were in the clear, they resumed their activities… that was until I summoned other ghosts and together, we took turns taking over their bodies which scared them so much."

The tree listened and shook its branches.

"That worked for you, but what am I supposed to do?"

"Look at the trees around you. Perhaps if the visitors aren't scared, you could work with the other trees to make the forest as scary as possible. After all, aren't you all connected at the roots?"

"I haven't talked with the other trees for a while."

Ilere finally stepped in. "I think the other trees ought to be the ones to help you here. Neither of us know what you trees do to make yourselves scary."

The tree attempted to communicate with the tree next to it. There was no answer at first. The tree tried again. This time, a few trees around it opened their eyes. "Stop! Who goes there?" one said, before realizing a neighbouring tree was responsible. "You, why do you disturb us?"

"I'm not scary anymore, so I need your help to be scary again."

"Well why didn't you say so," said another tree.

Soon after, another group of seemingly lost tourists appeared near the trees. Ilere and the Ghost Mynci hid away. Immediately, there was a yelp as the first tree seemed to wrap its roots around their ankles. Soon, the ash tree did the same. And then it lowered its branches, hoisted a Blue Vandagyre up, and held him upside down. As the Vandagyre yelped, another tree began to wrap its vines around a Pirate Jetsam.

"AHHHH!" the pets screamed. The screams sounded like music to the ash tree's ears. It then turned to the other trees. "Let them go, I think they're scared plenty."

The trees finished playing around with their victims and allowed them to dart away, never looking back at them again.

"Bravo, now I think you're all scary enough together!" Ilere exclaimed.

"Thanks, Ilere, Vincent," the ash tree said.

"None of us did anything. Now please continue your lifetime of scaring visitors to the woods," the Ghost Mynci replied.

---

"Alright, tomorrow is Halloween, what's our plan for our guests?" said an overgrown ash tree surrounded by younger trees.

"Well, we were planning to just toss some unsuspecting visitors between each other," said a young spruce.

The ash tree shook its branches.

"Not scary enough these days. I think I have an idea. We'll need to contact some zombie pet friends though."

"Ohhh, I like the idea…"

"We'll make it look like that we turned them into zombies…" the ash tree added.

"Ah, that sounds like fun," the younger trees replied.

"Remember, we don't say anything to our guests, we just scare them because that’s what they came here for right?"

"Sounds like a plan," replied a young oak tree.